You're Beautiful When You Smile
by xForgottenxFlamex
Summary: Now that she's back in her cage at Belle Reve, Harley has plenty of time to think back on the good and bad times with her Puddin'.


It had been three months since "that night." Three long months trapped behind the same bars as before, though, admittedly the amenities were a bit better than before the night they saved the world. But the addition of an espresso machine and a few harlequin romance novels did nothing to keep away the thoughts of everything she had before and everything that had happened since.

Her entire world had come crashing down around her as she watched the helicopter go down in flames on that fateful night. She could still feel the pain in her knees from hitting the concrete, collapsing from the weight of knowing she would never see her king again, never hear his laugh. Still feel the tears stinging her eyes as she sobbed, barely holding herself together. She was still telling herself the same thing she told herself that night, could hear the words in his voice followed by his signature "ha ha ha"s.

"There's no reason to be sad," he would always tell her. "You are the queen, my queen, and you are so beautiful when you smile."

The words have become her security blanket, and she played them over and over in her head since she had been thrown back into her cell in Belle Reve. Always forcing herself to grin, knowing that it made the guards uncomfortable. Made them think her even crazier than before, if that was even possible. She would smile to herself as she drank her coffee, playing out old and new conversations with the voices in her head. And sometimes, if she was lucky, his voice would speak up above the others and she could imagine that she was back with him again.

They had added a bed back into her cage, apparently deeming her not as much of a danger as before. If only they knew she still plotted her escape. The ticking bomb in her neck had failed before, who's to say it wouldn't fail again. And even if it didn't, with Mistah J gone she had no reason to truly stick around this earth. But for now she waited, tossing and turning on the thin prison mattress when she was able to sleep, dreaming of the good times and of the bad.

She thought often of the beginning, falling in love with the infamous Joker while she worked at Arkham Asylum. She had been so excited to even get the position there, being in the top of her class definitely opened doors she never thought possible. She was there for three weeks before she met him. At first, she was just assisting the doctor assigned his case. Doctor Harleen Quinzell was still too new, still too green, and not fit in the director's eyes to be conducting sessions on her own with cases of _his_ sort. But after a month of the Joker refusing to speak to anyone but her she was granted full reign over his sessions.

She listened to him, and he listened to her, and slowly over time they grew closer. Much closer than any doctor and patient should ever be, especially when one of them was a crazy as the Joker. But she knew better, or so she thought. She took to bringing him small trinkets, candies from her favorite shop, a picture from her graduation. He told her over and over again how beautiful she was when she smiled. It had been almost a year since she had first heard him laugh when she brought him the small cat toy, it had just made her think of nothing but him calling her "kitten" and she knew he had to have it. It was then that he asked for a machine gun and she realized she had to choose between what she knew had become love or her sense of what was right.

She had been so scared that night, thinking that he had been lying to her, had never really loved her when his henchmen strapped her down to that table. When she had asked if he was going to kill her, looking up at him with hurt and betrayal.

"I'm not gonna kill ya," he had told her, grinning with his silver smile. "I'm just gonna hurt ya really really bad."

And hurt her he did. She screamed as she felt the jolts of electricity coursing through her. She screamed as he laughed insanely and just held on. Until finally, she began to laugh with him. He had left her there after that, still strapped down to that table. She knew now that it hadn't been to hurt her. No, no. Her Mistah J would never hurt her. He had just had to show her the way, his way. He had to make her see. Just as he made her see when she dove into that vat of chemicals for him after promising she wouldn't just die for him. She would live for him. That promise was one of the main reasons she was still breathing now. She was still trying to live for him.

She thought of all the good times they had had. The nights on the town, robbing and creating chaos. Always dazzling on his arm, always smiling. She thought of dancing in his club, enjoying every moment of luring Mistah J's enemies into their traps. Nights out in his purple Lamborghini, flying through town feeling indestructible.

But there were the bad times too. Like their last date night that had been ruined by Batsy. Sure, he had saved her life after the Joker had escaped. That fact hadn't slipped her mind, and she would say that it stung if she hadn't known that Mistah J would have still come to her rescue. But that caused her to end up trapped here and in a long chain reaction, for her Puddin' to be gone.

But the worst memories flooded back when the nightmares came. She would see the twisted vision that evil Enchantress had poisoned her mind with. Her and her Mistah J, normal and holding their children. She would wake up screaming, tears streaming down her face. She knew that it wasn't real, that nothing she was promised would bring him back. But in those moments of waking, the world still hazy from the nightmare sleep, she was reminded of exactly how close she came to having a much more twisted vision of that fantasy. Last night had brought another terrifying nightmare, causing those memories she had been trying to put away to sit heavily on her mind that day.

Everyone knew that she had a hand in Jason Todd's death. Killing Batsy's favorite toy definitely made a splash. Most people thought that it was just because she followed the Joker around like his little puppet, not capable of having her own thoughts. Little did they know. Sure, Mistah J had knocked her around a few times, but that wasn't even the half of what she had done to him.

She remembered being so frightened, terrified of what he would say or do. She sat curled on the cold marble floor of their spacious bathroom, trying to make herself as small as possible. She was shaking from the dry sobs that wracked her body, her tears already dried up. There was a small purple stick sitting on the counter, glaring at her with its small pink plus sign. It mocked her, mimicking the sound of his laughter in her head. The voice of Dr. Harleen, one of the many that seemed to take residence in her head these days, reminded her that babies were something she had always dreamed of. Blonde little children with thick glasses like she use to wear, studying at the kitchen table or playing t-ball in the backyard. But it was his voice, the voice he only used with her on very rare occasions when he was really, really angry, that was mocking her and that stupid purple stick. Reminding her that wanting something so normal wasn't something he would allow.

"Oh Harley-pie," she heard him call, hearing his footsteps on the soft plush white carpet of their bedroom. "Where are you, my baby doll."

She folded herself even smaller, sinking down behind the toilet, hoping he wouldn't, yet knowing he would, find her immediately. And he did, rushing to her side, asking what was wrong and who he needed to kill for hurting his queen. He pulled her into his lap and let her blubber away, and then he saw it. That stupid purple stick. And his reaction, oh his reaction, it was so… unexpected. He grew so quiet, and that terrified her even more. When he was quiet, the outcome was so unpredictable. But after what felt like an eternity, he began to laugh. "Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha." It was so loud and it made her tremble. And then, he pushed her away from him, out of his lap and onto the cold floor. She expected the worst after that, but instead he grabbed her cheeks and squeezed, laughing still and beginning to talk about nursery plans and toddler sized machine guns.

From that moment on, the Joker became a surprisingly excited father to be. He brought home baby clothes to surprise her, both for a little boy and a little girl since they weren't sure what their little baby clown, or as she called the baby, little Giggles, would be. Small trinkets, stuffed bears and even a tiny kitten that matched the one she had brought him in Arkham. She decorated the nursery in rich reds and blacks, accented with Mistah J's signature purple. They were happy, truly and undeniably happy.

Until they weren't.

It was a heist gone bad. She was about four months along, barely even showing in her skimpy little outfits, but Mistah J had been worried about her being out, instead wanting to coddle her and keep her locked away at home. Safe. But home was boring. So, so boring. And she begged and pleaded, and her Puddin' just couldn't say no to her.

It was supposed to be a quick jewelry store robbery. In and out, and she would have a new necklace to wear to Mistah J's club this weekend. But the Bat and his trusty little sidekick showed up too soon. She was quick on her feet and being a collegiate gymnast always helped in a fight, but Robin had just been faster. He managed a swift kick to her stomach before she could cartwheel to safety.

There had been so much blood. But not near as much as was to come.

Mistah J hadn't spoken to her for at least a week after that. He got her home, cleaned her up, and then went numb. He left her to cry alone in their bed, wrapped up in those purple satin sheets, while he was off destroying Gotham. Raging against the injustice brought upon their would be family.

And then suddenly he was there, by her side like he always had been, like he always should have been. He was holding her and whispering reassurances, reminding her of how beautiful she was when she smiled. She had been so scared he would be angry with her, he would blame her for what happened. For not being able to protect their child. But he never brought it up, never mentioned their child again except once. The door to the nursery was locked, and it stayed that way. It was almost too painful to even go down that hallway of the house, so she never did.

Mistah J's henchmen tip toed around the house afterwards, waiting for the other shoe to drop. But it didn't, not for another two months.

Harley had been painting her toe nails, laying in the floor of their bedroom with polish bottles strewn around her, when he burst in, an ear to ear grin baring his silver teeth.

"Harl-eeey!" he exclaimed loudly, almost skipping into the room. He reached down and grabbed her shoulder, hauling her up and pushing her towards the door. "I have a very exciting present for you!"

He took her down to the basement of their mansion to a room with no windows and the cold, wet feeling seemed to sink into her bones. In the middle of the room a huddle mass of black lay shivering, clearly already been put through the ringer.

"Here is my present to you, my Harlequin," the Joker said, moving into the room and then crouching down beside the black mass. He was grinning, laughing loudly as he pulled on the man's hair, pulling his face up into the light, revealing the Bat's favorite toy. Jason Todd was laying at her feet, at her mercy, and the heartbreak of losing her child washed over her once more. Tears stung her eyes as Mistah J came over to her, his laughter quieting to a sob. It was just the three of them in the room, the Joker had already sent his henchmen out letting them know this was personal, this was for just him and his queen.

Seeing the Joker cry was something only two people could say that had seen, and one of them was now dead. People would ask her how she could love a monster like the Joker, and she would remind them that everyone gets to see him laugh, only she got to see him cry.

Mistah J had come to her then, holding on to her for dear life, crying into her shoulder. Her tears fell then, letting all of the emotions out for losing their child, for losing a part of her. They held each other for what seemed like ages, but almost too soon she felt Mistah J pull away from her to rest his forehead on hers.

"He's all yours, pumpkin," he told her, bringing his lips to meet hers in a surprisingly chaste kiss. "Make him feel what you felt." And with that, a shiny new baseball bat appeared out of what seemed like thin air behind the Joker. The words "good night" gleamed in the light as he presented it to her, letting her feel not only the weight of the bat but of his words.

Rage overcame her then, and she truly didn't remember doing the things she knew she did to poor Jason Todd. By the end of it, she was covered in blood and her Puddin' was laughing dangerously, egging her on for more. She grinned over to him, loving knowing that he was so proud of her. But inside the emptiness left by losing her child hadn't been filled. She still ached for what could have been, for the family and the future they could have had. And breaking the Bat's little toy hadn't made her feel much better.

But, as Mistah J reminded her, she was so beautiful when she smiled. So after going upstairs and cleaning herself up, she painted on her ruby red smile and went back to her Puddin's side and they never mentioned what could have been again.

She had meant it, the things she told Diablo. He killed his kids, and he had to own it. In a way, she had killed her child. Begging to go out rather than staying home that night. And she had ended Jason Todd's life as well, he was only a boy when you considered it. And those were things that she was going to have to own as well.

She sat cross legged on her mattress, sipping her coffee and trying to distract her mind and the voices from rehashing the feel of washing his blood away, when a loud explosion rattled the bars of her cage and shook the building enough for her to spill some of her espresso onto her leg. Wincing at the pain and gritting her teeth in anger, she dove to crouch down in the corner of the cage, ready to pounce at whoever had ruined the peace of her morning. It was then that droves of men in SWAT jackets came pouring into the room surrounding her cage. In the chaos, she had no idea where to look and she twisted her head around at the sound of a saw eating away at the teeth of her bars.

"I'm not going without a fight," she thought to herself and she readied herself to leap onto the first man to walk in. She prepared to jump when another man stepped out from behind him, "JOKER" printed in large white print on his chest. Her heart seemed to stop beating and she stumbled, the voices in her head screaming that this wasn't real. That this just another sick nightmare her damaged mind had created to hurt her.

But then he took off the gas mask to reveal his unnaturally white skin, the shock of green hair peaking out from under, and his blood red lips parted in a smile to show his silver teeth, and her heart began to beat again.

"Puddin'" she squealed, launching herself into his arms, clinging to him for dear life, trying everything she could to prove to herself that he was real. That he had come back to her.

The Joker let out a sigh of relief once he had her in his arms again, holding onto her so tightly he knew it would cause bruises. He vowed to himself in that moment that he would never let her out of his sight again, no matter what happened to them.

"Let's go home," he said into her hair, locking his fingers into the long strands.

And for the first time since she had been taken by the Bat to this Cajun hell hole, she felt like she could truly smile. The smile that was just for _him._ That glowing smile that she gave for her Mistah J that made her so beautiful to him. And for the first time since the night Jason Todd had taken everything from her, she felt that she could finally have hope to look for that kind of future again.

* * *

So…. Whatcha think? This is the first story I have sat down and written in probably five years. I know it's a short one, but it's been something that's been in my head ever since I saw the movie and I'm hoping this is something to get my feet wet with before I dive head first back in to writing, haha.

I just can't let go of knowing that Harley had something to do with Robin's death and those baby clothes the Joker had laying out with him while Harley was gone. I just thought they were such an odd detail, and this is the story I came up with to explain them.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this story and please leave me a review of what you thought. Was it great? Was it terrible? What can I do better? Let me know!


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